Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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