You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
