I need help removing her.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
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