im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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