I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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