The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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