just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize