Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
