I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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