i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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