if you like me you must not know who I am
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
