end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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