i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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