So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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