At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
