I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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