i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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