In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
