was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
