I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
