I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
