You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
