people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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