that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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