you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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