I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
