I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
