This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
