I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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