White coat. Heels.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im having a threesome with these popsicles
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
