I'm sorry my penis didn't work
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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