after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
