If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
