But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
