wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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