after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
