You work out of a Hotel?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
