I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
