I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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