I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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