i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i barfeds in our rink
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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