the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
