I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm too high and old for this...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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