So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
