Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize