question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
