I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
