I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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