I can tuck mytits in my pants
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
