Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize