Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
