I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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