one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
