I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
