My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
