I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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