we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The adults are the big ones right?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
