I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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