i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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