someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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