I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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