So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
