I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
