You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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