sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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