I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
