so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize