the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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