Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
