im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
