i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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