no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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