In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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