She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
