So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
is this the sara with the beer cane?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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